Lullaby

I don't have a lot of exciting news these days. Each day is the same, and the days stretch out into the future - all similar, all bittersweet. Sweet since spending the days taking photos of me and my little boy and listening to the million little funny things he inadvertently says is the greatest gift. Bitter since I spent so much of my life imagining something different and something more. A silly little dream of a gentle husband, charming home, fulfilling work, children and their sweet little footfalls, a warm purring kitten. As the days stretch out, dreams tend to evaporate and I feel awful longing for something more than what I already have.



I love my little boy more than anything - even when he's being as stubborn and obstinate as I am. I love his sweet little face more than I ever thought I could. I never imagined I would feel this way about what was once a little alien growing somewhere inside. These days are soft and dreamy and do well at hiding shadows.



I'm a romantic. I always long to see beauty in the ordinary and to be surrounded by people who see the same. These days, there is no-one and when Theo's laughter is not filling the air, it becomes suddenly lonely.



I wonder how long these days will last.